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Any Given Sunday cover reveal and other news

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Jay Aheer sent me this beautiful cover this morning. I pretty much told her I had no clue what I wanted. No faces. I gave her the cover for Six Ways from Sunday and the (to date) unpublished cover for Sunday Schooled and told her something to bridge these. Any Given Sunday is the beginning of what would have been Sunday Schooled. I'm saying this because now that the first half will be published and Sunday Schooled will be more current and future events I might still write that... after Blindsided. MIGHT! maybe. It's a good chance if Blindsided doesn't kill me.

I am not setting a release date yet. AGS is in editing now. I don't know how long it will take to do my rewrite when it comes back. I'll set the date then. I'm hoping for a day in March. These things take time.

About Cold Shadow.

I'm working on my first rewrite of it as we speak. I hope to be finished with that by the weekend and then I'll send it to editing. I'm thinking April. I know that's two months later than I anticipated but I didn't anticipate adding another fifty thousand words to the story either.

I know it's taking time, but both books are moving along at the moment and everything looks good. There will be back to back releases from me in a few days. And that will never happen again.

About Blindsided... one more time.

I'm moving the publishing date for Blindsided to 2018.
I know you've been waiting patiently.
Life happens. Real life got WAY too real and I couldn't face that book.

What's next?

I'm working on three different possible projects. Just waiting for one to stick.

I have the "lost story" based on a Dan Skinner photograph. I say lost story, because I hand wrote it and couldn't find the notebook after we moved. I recently found it. It's about half there. Still in a notebook in my chicken scratch handwriting. I also have an historical western MM sequel to my current historical western MF book. I started that one before my mother died and, well, I didn't do much after that. It's been five months. I figure whatever is meant to be written next will be written next. I started playing with an idea that I've been kicking around for a couple of years, about a trans woman. That story wants to spawn three stories. But I can't seem to get it to start. I'm good at beginnings, it's endings that I suck at. You should see my unfinished file. So many good ideas that will never find endings in that thing. And well, right after she died I started this very angry story that became a violent dominance story, and kinda rapey. I doubt I'll ever get back to that one. I like the premise. I didn't like where it went.

So... about that cover.



ANY GIVEN SUNDAY is LIVE everywhere

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ANY GIVEN SUNDAY book 6 in the Southern Scrimmage Series is now available everywhere I can make it available. Click the cover in the right sidebar to view details or click HERE

Cover art is by the so very talented Jay Aheer.

May Updates!

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My apologies for not blogging in a long time. April was a very busy month behind the scenes. Okay it sucked ass. Anyway, there's no personal business sucking my time away now.

So I hope you had a nice Easter. I gave the girls a million bags of candy and some fake eggs to color.

May is here now. It's been quite warm down here on the Gulf Coast for some time now. Summer temps. May seems to have decided we needed rain and thunderstorms to go with our heat.

I keep meaning to start a garden. I want to grow peas, potatoes, and tomatoes. I have the space for it. I don't have the get up and go for it.

I bought an ornamental gardenia. I have nearly killed it.

Plants see me coming and try to hide behind the dumber plants. They smell a plant murderer when they see one.

So... okay I said so already....

Here's what's up.

Cold Shadow is finished. It's in final edits as I type this. I have it available for pre-order on Amazon now. It releases on the 9th.

So... what is it?

It's the long anticipated sequel to In from the Cold.

I'm calling the series The Cold Country Trilogy.

There will be one final book. Eventually.

What it is not.... It's not a sweet continuation of the previous story. The title explains everything. And I still have misgivings about releasing this book. It is the same story I wrote six years ago... all reasons why I pulled it still exist.

So...there's that word again... SO! we're all on the same page.

It's nearly twice as long as Cold 1 at 99,000 words.
You can find it at your participating Amazon.


Okay... now that CS is finished and my life is settling back to something akin to normal I have a few ideas for new material brewing.

I started an 'accidental honeymoon' book last year but stopped writing it because there was one almost exactly like it on Amazon. I didn't want to jump on some weird bandwagon thing so I stopped working on it.

The story never left me. It's about a guy who gets jilted at the alter and his best friend goes on his honeymoon with him where they figure out they have feelings for each other.... yeah yeah, it's a friends to lovers trope... and a GFY.... I do love my GFY friends to lovers stories.

I have an idea for a hot farmboy meets cool librarian story brewing. They don't know each other and they both bat for the same team. It's an opposites attract thing.

I started a story last year before my mother died... well, I started two stories right around the time she died. One is a contemporary Christmas story. The other is a historical western. I plan to get back to those after the honeymoon and farmabrarian stories. I have a couple of years to make up for...........

So... no... I didn't mention a sequel to anything coming up soon. Yes I plan to write the last Scrimmage stories. I plan to write the final Cold book. Next year. Because I can't do another sequel this year. Because I can't bear to make myself bleed anymore this year....

So... I need to stop saying that word.... that's it for now. I'll be around more often now. I have some new things to talk about soon. So stay tuned.

Mercy

Cold Shadow is LIVE

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Sorry to take so long updating the blog. Life and other disasters decided to punch me hard the past couple of days. I'm slowly getting caught up.

Cold Shadow, the sequel to In from the Cold has been published. It's been sitting around gathering dust for six years so why not.

It's very dark. It's very violent. It's not a sweet love story. There are warnings for triggers. Be prepared is all I can say. And yes the reasons I didn't want to publish this are all of that and a bit more.

You can find all of the buy links on Cold Shadow's official page. Click the book cover in the right side bar.

99,200 words

Happy Reading,

Mercy



Random Ramblings and FB Musings

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Got a strange email from Nook Press a couple of days ago. It was their 'It's Payday' notice. The strange part is, they usually pay at the end of the month, not the beginning. The really strange part... They
don't owe me any money. Especially not that much money. I earned six bucks in March. I earned nothing in January and February. Sooo... huh.

I made a decision to commission wrap covers for three books that I chose not to make wrap covers for. I'm going to do them one at a time. I do have a wrap cover for the new Light from the Dark. I just haven't formatted the book for print a second time. It's been waiting. I'll have that done by the end of the weekend. So I'm taking Light from the Dark off the print pre-order table. Any Given Sunday will be next.

I also decided to recover two books. One soon. The other later. I'm going to re-do Lace to match Lagniappe. I'm going to split the print into two books. I didn't want to do a fourth cover for Lace but if I write a third story in the series I want them all to look a like.

I'm seriously thinking about pulling Shift in Time from publication. I've sold less than five copies in the last 90 days. It's never sold well. Why? Is it that terrible? When other paranormal books flourish mine fail. I would still like to write the second book. If I do I'll rebrand the series with a new cover and go from there.

I'm struggling with new stories. I have too many swirling in my head. I sit down to write and end up messing around on line instead. I sort of accidentally bought a new laptop last night... because I was messing around online instead of writing on my five hundred year old laptop.

And the freakin football boys are tired of being denied. So... fuck them.

I should probably start blogging on my blog instead of FB. No one reads my blog and if they do they comment on FB.... meh.

Don't forget to buy Cold Shadow and while you're there, Any Given Sunday is still fresh, give it a squeeze.

If yesterday had a theme...

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Death, family, and Dean Winchester.

Yesterday had a theme.

I woke up to the death of a rock star. I cried in an elementary school gym. I reveled with a dancing baby tree. Then cried for him. I bonded with a genetically engineered trash panda. Then cried for him. I cried for a fictional character I never expected to give a shit about. And Dean Winchester broke my heart..one more goddamned time out of a lifetime of breaking my heart.

Yesterday was about death and family and love and hate and realizing your spirit animal is a foul mouthed raccoon.

My last baby graduated fifth grade yesterday. It's not a major milestone by any means. It's simply moving from one school to another. But the schools around here hold an honors ceremony for the kids and the parents... because it might not be a major milestone, it's still a milestone. It is just the first warning that one day very soon you will be doing this for real and that tiny little bundle you brought home almost eleven years ago is more than halfway done with your part in their lives.

Oh, your role in their lives will never end... well it shouldn't. Unfortunately, it does for so many. If you're a normal functional family you'll always be a part of your children's lives. It's just that in seven more school years, you're role in shaping them, and guiding them, and not killing them for stupid mistakes will come to a screeching halt and you won't even notice that it happened. The warning comes with that last ceremony, the one when they're seventeen or eighteen and you're in a packed arena overlooking a sea of mortar boards and gowns... that's your warning. You can try to hang on to them but that's their signal that you're done. If you've done your job right, they can go off and be people on their own and they'll come home every now and then. College and marriage and babies and careers. It's the circle of life as we know it. We get eighteen years. If we did it right we didn't fuck our kids up and life is perfect.

So I cried in a little gym surrounded by people who didn't know what was coming. I have three adult children. I've been there before. I cried for all of them. I cried when they left the eighth grade too. I cried through all of the high school honors programs and band awards and that day they left school for the last time. I cried at one college graduation and one wedding. I'll cry at another wedding later this year.

I might have been the only mother of a fifth grader sitting in that gym who knew what was coming. Maybe I cried harder because she is the last. Maybe I cried because unlike the last fifth grade graduation I attended, I wasn't pregnant for this one.

The last one. The attitude in that one is great. I can see the next seven years playing out. I've been there three times before.

I wonder if my mother cried when I graduated fifth grade. I remember it. I wore a white floral dress and hated every minute of it. There was no middle school graduation where I went. I wore a pale green dress and three inch white hooker heels seven years later with a royal blue cap and gown. I wonder if she cried then. I never graduated college. I ran away to get married. I wonder if she gave a damn.

I never graduated college because she spent all of the money my father saved for me to go to college. I ran away to get married because she would never allow me to date. I snuck around with the man I married for months. Because I was an adult trapped in this insane reality in which my mother controlled every thing. I couldn't afford college. I didn't qualify for financial aid. I had no help. I had nothing. I had to be her cook and baby sitter and do what she told me to do.

I can look back on it as the mother of adult age children and wonder how much of what I was going through was teen angst and resentment. I can look back on it and wonder how much of it I brought on myself.

I look back and I flinch.

I flinch because if I said anything I was hit. I flinch because I had to choose every single word that came out of my mouth so very carefully or I would be hit. I flinch now. I flinch 30 years later because I spent the first 19 years of my life with a person incapable of love who controlled with hateful words and slap to the face or the few times when I stood my ground, a beat down. A beat down that she bragged about for months. A beat down that she made sure I knew she enjoyed and would do again if I decided I needed to stand up to her.

While my father was absent.

Always absent.

He could be in the same house and still be absent.

I look back on my life and I wonder if my kids can find memories like that. I wonder if the times I had to discipline them above and beyond will be what stays with them. I never slapped a kid. I never beat one. I never demeaned them. Never. I gave them what I thought they needed and I let them go.

I've done my best. That's the best I can say.

I didn't have a mother. I didn't have a father. I had me. And I had a brother and a sister behind me. I had a brother and a sister who could do no wrong. I had a brother and a sister that I took care of, and often times I took their slaps and their beat downs.

This was my life.

This is not my kid's life. My older kids are not my younger kid's parent figures. They're her siblings. And that was the one thing I am proud of. I gave my kids the life I never got. I gave them everything I could to move them into the world.

Because yesterday I watched a movie about a bunch of messed up individuals who made a family. The theme of the second Guardians movie is family. It's slower than the first movie. You're in the middle of the plot before you realize there is a plot. It's about people like me whose parents or creators fucked them up to the point that they have nothing left. It's about making family. It's about finding the crazies that make you whole and making them family.

There's this scene that I am going to spoil the hell out of. It's in the woods. It's dark. The team has split up and something bad is about to happen to a crazy raccoon and a baby tree. It's a scene in which I fell in love with a crazy raccoon. Because if I could I'd rig a trap that flings people into the air and keep flinging them while I sit in a tree and laugh... but I can't... so I write about doing shit like that to fictional people.

It's where I find my particular dysfunction in a fictional creature.

Guardians is about confronting your past. I will never be able to do that. My past is dead and buried with other people. Or learning how to fucking live with it without turning into a raging psychopath.

And major spoiler. Take tissues. Because in the end, you're going to find you need them. Because when it happens, it never stops tearing at the feels.

And then there is Dean Winchester and his mommy issues.

This is the season Dean's greatest wish was granted by Chuck's sister. Dean got his mother back.

And she isn't the person his four year old self remembers.

She's the adult mother from a messed up background who knows more about fighting than nurturing. She doesn't cook. She never baked him pies. She isn't loving. She isn't what he wanted her to be.

Mothers seldem are.

Earlier this season he broke my heart when he rejected her. His resentment and his anger and his hate... I knew those. I know those. God I know those.

Last night Supernatural ended their season in two episodes. I can't help but wonder why the network shoved them both together instead of stretching it out one more week like the other shows. I needed time to process the second to last episode before I was thrown into the last one.

And this is where the spoilers the second to last episode come in. If you don't want to be spoiled... stop reading.

Dean is left alone with the mother who barely knows him. Sam is out on a mission. The torture bitch from BMoL puts him into his mother's head to attempt to undo her reprogramming... if you've watched recent episodes you know what I mean. Dean walks into a memory he's had before. When he was four eating a sandwich and Mary is baking a pie... she won't look at him. The memory is playing out like it did in whatever episode it played out in seasons ago.

He's talking to her. Calmly. She won't look at him.

And then he says he hates her.

He hates her and he blames her for leaving them alone and turning them into what they became. He hates her because their father became a shell of a father. He hates her because he had to be mother and father to his brother. He hates her because he never had a childhood. He never had a chance at a life other than the one he has.

And yesterday hit me so fucking hard.

Why I identify with Dean Winchester and always have. Why I identify with a fucking CGI raccoon.

Because I hate my mother. I hate her. I have hated her for fucking me up. Fucking up our family. For fucking up everything. I hate her because I love her. And she never fucking loved me.

I hate my father because he wasn't there to stop her. He didn't care. I hate him. I hate them all. I hate my siblings because I had to be their mother and their father and I never had a childhood. I hate them because I love them and they are just like her.

Yesterday had a theme. It started with the death of a brilliant, haunted rock star who gave voice to so much of my pain over the past couple of decades. And continued to wind my fucked up life into my fucked up present and forced me to deal with shit I've been bottling up for the past seven months since my mother died.

I write the shit I write to purge the messed up shit in my head. I put on this face that isn't mine and I make sure everyone is taken care of. I've always made sure everyone is taken care of. Always. I put everyone ahead of me. And I took their shit because I don't want to upset people. I flinch. Because I was abused and I was unloved and I swore I'd never treat anyone the way I was treated.

I told people that I love them when I didn't. I told people that weren't loved by parents that I loved them because I felt guilty that they weren't loved. I never realized I hated them until recently. I never realized that I loved them out of duty. I loved my parents because I thought I had to. I thought that's what you did. I love people that I hate. I hate people that I love. And I can't reconcile that. I can't reconcile being just like them.

I can't.

Yesterday had a theme.

Yesterday reminded me that I'm fucked up and made me face what fucks me up.

I have depression. I have anxiety. I feel I am worthless and unworthy of being loved. I feel alone and I feel I have to be responsible and nice and a fucking doormat because that's how I was raised. I have no voice. I am the one who does for others because that's my sole purpose. And I hate them.

It's okay to hate them.

It's okay to cut the toxicity from your life and realize you don't have to love people who do not love you in return. It's okay not to love someone. It's okay to let the hate in sometimes. Because it purges the bullshit from you. I hate.. and I'm walking the fuck away from what I hate.

And that's okay.

Because that was yesterday's theme.

Today has a new theme. And tomorrow is unwritten.

Peace... one day soon maybe,

Mercy


Print books and where did they go

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A couple of months ago I noticed something strange on my Amazon author page. Sidelined and Out of the Blues was listed twice. Okay. The second listing was for the print edition. Okay. Both listings undercut my listed print editions by a couple of dollars. Okay. When I went into Author Central to 'claim' Cold Shadow as my book (you do this so it appears on your author page making it easier for people to search your pen name and find ALL of your books) (note to authors, you need to set up your author page on Amazon and log into author central and claim all of your books) (why the hell haven't you done that? don't you want to sell books?)...anyway, when I was in Author Central I noticed that those two book listings had been added as 'mine'. They aren't mine. They're used book sellers reselling my books. They're not from me. They're not from my publisher, which is me. They aren't mine. I noticed that one more book was listed in a separate listing for print as well. One that I removed from publication in both ebook and print form.

So I went and checked those three books. I clicked the buy link for the print version of Sidelined in the original listing. It did not display the price I had it for sale for. It did display a third party seller as the originator. So I checked Out of the Blues. And yep. Same. The third book only has that listing. The third book was in the couple of hundred dollar range. It did not have an add to cart link. You have to actively click the link to display used book sellers. But it was listed on my Author Central page the same way Side and Blues was... as a second, separate entity.

Okay.

Strange how things happen.

I read an article the next day that said that Amazon had begun allowing third party sellers to 'bid for' the buy button on print books. Usually these sellers were under cutting the publisher. And Amazon has no problem with it.

I read several people talking about it on social media and the general consensus is that it's a sky is falling article and nothing to worry about... but here I am with two books that have been hijacked by third party sellers... and no one even thinks it's a problem.

Okay.

Do you know how much it costs to produce a print book? I've spent upwards to two hundred dollars for formatting and wrap covers. But it's more than that. I've formatted several myself and it takes hours. Hell days. Days of work staring at tiny print and hundreds of pages that like to reformat themselves and put chapters where they shouldn't be and blank pages where there are none... and then there's getting alternating headers and page numbers to be on the pages they are supposed to be on (hint it's not the cover page, or the title page or the first blank pages, or the copyright page or the well you get my drift). Getting the title and author name to alternate pages is tricky as fuck. I've spent upwards to four days just formatting a damned book and nothing else.

So, in short it costs money and time to make a print book. The bright side to all this is that Createspace doesn't charge to produce the book, they take the cost of each book out in royalty split. They produce the book and I get a buck or two afterward. They tell me the least amount I can charge for a book. I set the price as low as I can because print books aren't cheap to produce. I think I make $2.50 on one book, it sells for 15 or more. I can't remember what I have it set at. IF... IF you buy that book through Createspace. If you buy it through Amazon I get a dollar, if Amazon doesn't discount it.

To date I've made back what I spent on exactly three books. I don't sell many print books. The ones I did sell were through Amazon or if I bought them at cost and sold them myself for a discount.

And here we are with Amazon, who incidentally, owns Createspace, having started a second book printing business through KDP where we list the ebooks and actively trying to get us to stop using Createspace in favor of that service... and two of my buy links no longer link to createspace but to third party sellers.

And we won't even discuss how much you make when you list the books with other sites like Barnes and Noble... okay we will... first though, you have to raise your prices to an even higher list price for extended distribution. I mean really high. And this book that you just listed for 20 bucks so that you can get it on Barnes and Noble will only earn you a royalty of around fifty cents. So people who would have bought your book at Amazon won't because the price is too high just so you can get it on Barnes and Noble... and it's not worth it.

It's not worth the cost and trouble and pain in the ass to put a book in paperback.

It's not.

I did it because I thought people wanted them.

Anyway, long story short. I pulled all of my books from Amazon. I delisted several from sale completely. Right now the only books still for sale in print are only available through Createspace.... I know.... One Click... Prime Shipping.... I KNOW!

I made the decision not to put the two most recent books in print. And I was happy with that decision because I've never sold many books and I'd stopped selling books pretty much all together over the past six months.

I had several people tell me they only read print. Or they needed the book(s) for their collection.

Okay.

So... I'm not going to put the books back on Amazon. And you'll notice the two books that do still have the add to cart option are now in the several hundred dollar range....don't buy those.... But I did go ahead and commission a wrap cover for one and will do that for the second one later this month.

I might not list them for sale at all.

I will sell them through my site. You can order them straight from me, I will ship them. And I will sign them. For less than Createspace will charge you.

I am currently taking advance orders for Any Given Sunday. I plan to order the first Saturday in June. You'll find a button in the header of this blog that says PRINT BOOKS! Check there for a direct to paypal buy button.

If there is a print book that I self published that you're looking for and it's not available through Createspace please contact me. All books with available print books have the createspace link on their book page. Please click the cover to the right side. Or the title of the book in the tool bar.

Mercy


If you're not going to write every day: Quit now!

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Seriously!
Fucking bite me!

So, I read this blog post yesterday with a similar title. I have no idea who the author was. Some whiny bitch dude, I've never heard of, giving advice and... shit I don't know what the hell he was doing. I read half of it, and it was long as fuck, going on to illustrate his point in other jobs and... he freakin' meant that title. Like you know, he's king of the book advice because he has a couple out.

I've given advice in the past. I don't like to give advice. I feel like I'm not good enough to offer much advice. Sit ass in chair and write... I've said that so many times and I stand by that as the only sure fire piece of advice that works. If you want to write, then you write. Writers write. We write and we write and we write. One day we might be published. Not all writers who write are published. Doesn't mean they're not writers. Doesn't mean they failed. Not all writers want to be published. Not all writers have the stomach to jump into this shark infested field for very little pay. Dude, publishing is fucking insane, why in the hell would anyone want to do that?

But, so, why am I writing about this if I agree with the guy? I know you're asking that question. I hear ya. The thing is, I don't. I don't agree with that age old piece of advice at all. I feel like it's elitist, dictatorial bullshit. Sort of along the lines of I got mine... yeah yeah... bite my big fat writer's ass.

It is true, if you want to be a writer you write. How you write and when you write is totally up to you. Writing a thousand words a day every day isn't the law. Writing a hundred words a day... dude write a Facebook post or something. People read shit like that and think that's what real writers do and then they don't follow a dream they might have had because of some unrealistic notion that real writers write every damned day and if they don't they're hacks and should quit.

The truth is real writers have day jobs or night jobs or two jobs or three jobs. They have families. Sometimes they have families and a job or two. Real life sucks, it sucks time and energy and dreams and if it leaves us with enough time to read a magazine while sitting on the toilet then sometimes that's all the time we have. 

I wrote my first book around 20 years ago when my older three kids were all under 5. The youngest was two, she's about to be 22. I wrote it on yellow legal paper and spiral notebooks in pencil. I wrote it when they napped or played in the yard. I wrote it at night after they went to bed. It's around 70k words. It took me a year. I never published it and I never will. I will never publish the second  or the third book I wrote. The fourth, fifth and seventh books were published. No one cares. Not a soul. Crickets man, crickets. Were they good? I don't know. No one read them, moving on.

Point is, I kept writing even though I might never publish. I kept writing even when no one would read the stories. I kept writing through horrible years of hurricane destruction and death and dealing with kids and a late life pregnancy that has destroyed my body and my health. I've published 25 books since I wrote my first book 20 years ago. I'm about to finish my 30th book. In 20 years. That's damned remarkable considering I didn't write for three years. AT. ALL. And then I wrote like a fiend for a year.  

I don't write book after book or story after story. My brain is not built that way. I write a book until it's finished. I don't write every day that I'm writing a book. I take days off. I go out. I do things. I function. But when a book must be written in must be written. Some days I am lucky to get a couple of paragraphs out. Other days it's five or six thousand words or until my finger tips are so sore that touching the keys sends electric shocks up my arms. I wrap one wrist in an arthritis compression glove and a wrist wrap because carpal tunnel and arthritis... because I'm a writer. I write a book until that book is done. And I write it in the time I have available. And if I don't have time or the mental ability to write each and every day... I watch television or read OPB (other people's books) because I'm a human being who has options.

In a perfect world, I'd love to be able to do nothing but sit and write. And I did for a long time. I did that because I thought I had to. I thought I had to because everyone around me is churning out book after book and I was being left behind. I was competing with others and killing myself for words on a page that didn't mean shit to me just to throw words on a page. And I hated throwing words on a page like so much paint splatter to see what stuck. So I don't do that. I write because I want to write. Because I have a story to tell. I write when the story tells me to write it. Not because some asshole with an inflated ego says this is what writers do. Writers don't do that.

You know what writers do... we write. Yes. That is the one and only tried and true way you're ever going to write a book. Sit your ass in a chair and pound words onto a page. But do it on your own terms, at your own pace. Not because you think that's what writers do. 

And I'll tell you another thing... that thing about writers living on coffee and cigarettes... yeah, I rarely drink coffee and I don't smoke. I do forget to eat and bathe when I'm in the middle of  a story that must be told. Not sure about other writers. And when it's done the first thing I do is pull out the bacon and eggs and eat like I haven't seen food in a month... because I haven't. Candy corn and potato chips and Dr Pepper... yeah, I eat like shit when I'm writing.

Write where you are with what you have. Pencil and legal pads. Laptop. Desktop. A combination of all three. Just write. If you're a writer, you write. If you're going to quit, quit. I've quit 20 times or more. Yet somehow, there are still stories to be told when I'm ready to listen. You do you.

And that's all I'm going to say on the subject.
Mercy

June in the deep south

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Did you ever watch Good Morning, Vietnam? Do you remember when Robin Williams did the fake weather report from the 'man on the street'...

"Hey, can you tell me what's your name? "My name is Roosevelt E. Roosevelt." Roosevelt, what town are you stationed in? "I'm stationed in Poontang." Well, thank you, Roosevelt. What's the weather like out there? "It's hot! Damn hot! Real hot! Hottest things is my shorts. I could cook things in it. A little crotch pot cooking." Well, tell me what it feels like. "Fool, it's hot! I told you again! Were you born on the sun? It's damn hot! It's so damn hot, I saw little guys, their orange robes burst into flames. It's that hot! Do you know what I'm talking about?" What do you think it's going to be like tonight? "It's gonna be hot and wet! That's nice if you're with a lady, but ain't no good if you're in the jungle!" Thank you, Roosevelt."

 Well, it's kinda like that in Lower Alabama, LA for short. It's hot and humid and sunny right now. Usually, it's hot and humid and storming. The frog aliens in the pond across the street from my house have been screaming for rescue. It's damned creepy at night. And the bugs... y'all, we've had two incredibly mild winters, which means we have bugs. Lots of bugs... ALL THE BUGS.

So, it's summer in the deep south and I have the air conditioner set at 73 degrees but the dog has to go out and it's hot and humid and you get two feet from the door and your clothes are sticking to your body in a not very nice way. That's what it's like here... I swear he says hollandaise in my shorts... that makes sense, put some hollandaise in my shorts and do some crotch pot cooking. It's hot as crotch outside.

I'm one writing session away from finishing a brand new book.

Holy non sequitur, Batman.

I don't have anything else to do, it's too hot to do much unless you have a pool, we don't. We have a community pool. And one car. Which is at my husband's work. And I'm not walking all the way to the front of the subdivision to go to the pool just to need to go back after the walk home. Did I mention how hard it is to breathe in humid air? Damned hard. The air is about 90% water most days. You can drown in that. Not really... it's great for the skin, though.

So, about this book.

It's MM. Around 60,000 words. Just a fun romance. Set on a cruise ship. For an accidental honeymoon trope... one guy got stood up at the altar by his best friend's sister... best friend goes on cruise with him... sort of Drunk on a Plane and Somewhere on a Beach, inspired... find out they've had feelings for each other... yada yada... It's not erotic. Not by the definition of erotic... there's some sex. I kept it short and sweet most scenes. Just a romance. Only a wee bit of angst. Tropical locals. Bahamas. I watched a bunch of ziplining videos. I love youtube.

So... that's about it. All caught up for now. I should have this finished tonight and off to beta readers. I hope to have it edited and ready to go by mid-July. Tentative release date will be July 11th.

YAY first non-series book in nearly two years.

I have no idea what I'm going to write next. I have several new ideas banging around in my head. We'll see what sticks to the wall.

Cover art coming soon. And I'll keep you posted on that release date.

Hope your summer is off to a great start... or winter if you're in the southern hemisphere.

Mercy

New Book Cover Reveal: Match Day

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If you follow me on Facebook you already know there will be a brand new Mercy book in July. If you don't follow me on Facebook... well, now you know.

I started writing Match Day last year. I stopped writing Match Day at fifteen thousand words because there were so many books coming out that were just like it in trope.

I called it my accidental honeymoon book. One man gets jilted at the altar but has nonrefundable tickets to use.  Best friend goes on honeymoon with him. They spend the cruise figuring out they have feelings for each other... yeah... that trope. 

Is that really a trope in gay romance? Has gay romance been around long enough for that to be a trope... does it matter... it's a trope.

I wanted to write something light and fluffy then. I stopped writing because there were way too many dudes in tuxes on a beach covers. I didn't want to jump on that bandwagon that I didn't know was a bandwagon until the wagon had left the bandroom.

So I stopped writing it and moved on to other things. I finished Last Man Standing and sort of fell apart after that.

I still wanted to write something light and fluffy and I found this fifteen thousand word file in my abandoned projects file. I still remembered the plot I'd half formed for the story.

I pulled it out, and a month later that fifteen thousand is now over sixty thousand words.

And it's spawned a sequel that is almost twenty thousand words as of last night.

So Match Day spawned Long Way and I'm hoping to pull Long Way in at around the same word count. It's a spin-off sequel with new MCs because there's a character in the end of Match Day that told me he had a story too.

Besides the jilted groom goes on honeymoon with best friend, what is Match Day about?

Well, brand new doctor, Zack Sorensen is about to start his residency. Which is where the title comes from. He plans to get married, get the house, get the family started and all that before he does... except his fiancee doesn't show up. 

Best friend Brian O'Daly is left with her cruise tickets when Zack leaves. He decides to surprise his friend and meets him at the ship.

They drink a lot. They share a bed. They go island hopping. 

They have sex.

There's a couple of twists.

It's cute and fluffy dammit. CUTE AND FLUFFY... said while wielding a chain saw over my head. AHAHAHAHA! 

And it's coming in late July. Or as soon as I get it rewritten and edited.

I can't talk about Long Way yet. It would spoil Match Day. They are related. Really related. really really related related.

But here's the gorgeous cover the gorgeous and talented Jay Aheer did for me.... I asked for a cover that looked like a surf t-shirt. I got exactly what I wanted. It's gorgeous and it fits the story and I might do a whole series of accidental vacation stories just because I need cute and fluffy in my life right now.



 

Midsummer talking to myself post

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Hi, happy 4th, if you're in the states you know that's a holiday, if you're not, it's a Tuesday. But happy day anyway.

Seems like a long time since I rambled on about nothing. This summer has gone by pretty fast. The kid just got out of school and she has one month left. It's rained a lot this summer. We had a tropical storm pound us for nearly a week. Still picking up tree debris from that. Haven't been anywhere. No vacation this year. Maybe Thanksgiving week. I'd like to take one last Disney trip, when it's not Mercy melting hot. I lived in central Florida for a year it's always melting season down there. I'd thought to register for Coastal Magic and kill two birds with one stone. But it's the week after Mardi Gras break so the kid can't miss school so there's no point in going. If Mardi Gras had been one week later. 

Speaking of conferences. I will not be at GRL again this year. If you were wondering. Not sure anyone really cares but there it is. 

So... the question that keeps coming up and I keep ignoring... when is Blindsided coming out?

The thing is... I killed a person in Blindsided. Then my mother died. I am not ready to get back to that story while I'm still dealing with the fallout from her death. I'm too raw to open that vein and bleed story right now.

When will the third Cold Country book come out? One day. Maybe. Five years from now. I don't know. After Blindsided.

So... what am I doing if I'm not writing those books?

I have a new book coming out in probably August. It's too late to plan for July. I haven't sent it to be edited yet. I haven't finished the final draft yet. I haven't started the final draft yet. I finished writing it and decided I wanted to let it sit for a while before I read it... that's right,  I haven't even read it yet. I never read a book while I'm writing the first draft. I read the last Chapter I wrote so that I know where I left off and what I was thinking at the time and I keep going. Technically, I do read the book. I just don't read it straight through until I'm ready to write the second draft, which is usually my final draft before sending to an editor.... and I finished Match Day by introducing a character in the last chapter who decided he had a story to tell so I sent Match Day to beta readers and started writing Long Way on June 15. I should be finished with that one by the 10th. And if I am that is the fastest I've ever written a book. EVER. I wrote Wicked Game for NaNoWriMo in 2010. To date that 63,000 words in 30 days is my fastest book. 

Anyway, I'm sitting just below the 50k word mark in Long Way, in a series that has no name, because it wasn't supposed to be a series. And now I have two characters from the first book talking about how they got shafted and made the bad guys and left behind and... the summer of the accidental series might have a third story with another vacation type theme... it even has a damned title... Fast Getaway. I picture a Sam and Dean motel crawl across the country with that one... After I rewrite Match Day and find out their names, because I forgot their names. 

It's all fluff. I'm just writing fluffy light sex stories with some angst but not gut wrenching angst. Because that's all I can emotionally handle right now.

I'm just trying to stay cool and pay the bills this summer. Not much going on. 

I've read six books in the past two months. Not sure I read that many books last year total. I've watched a lot of television. Went to Florida on business. Ran through the rain to do the basic shopping. Bought a kid a fidget spinner. Celebrated two birthdays. There's one left for the summer. The DH turns old. Then back to school. Then football season. Why am I waiting for football season? Don't know.

So this is me rambling. Hope you have a lovely day no matter where you are. 

I'll ramble at you later. 

Peace

Mercy

What do those letters mean? And what the hell is Erotica anyway?

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I joined RWA about twenty years ago. I've been running around the romance community is some fashion for two decades. I've been to conferences and workshops and writing classes and monthly group meetings and online and what have you for a very long time.

Before that, I was a romance reader. I started reading romance when I was twelve. I read those first love books in my teens. And hid the dirty historicals under my bed. The first dirty historical I read was about two twin girls, named Gia and Gina, one was betrothed to a wealthy man and was sent to marry him, she was killed in a buggy/train wreck. Her sister had amnesia from the same accident. The groom didn't know there was a twin. He took home the wrong sister.... except the other sister wasn't killed she'd been thrown clear of the wreckage (must have been a buggy) and the other body that was severely unrecognizable (I thought burned so must have been a train) was thought by the readers to be one of the twins.... lots of premarital shenanigans went on. The other twin comes back... she wasn't nice about her sister being pregnant with her betrothed's baby... I can't remember how it ended. I was thirteen. It was sex.

Of course, I read Fear of Flying by Erica Jong around that time too. It wasn't a romance. I read my first menage scene when I was too young to know what menage was. Or sex for that matter.

For some reason, my parents had a box of smut books in their closet. I mean SMUT of the smuttiest smut to ever smut. I remember this pulp fiction porn fest titled Amanda set during WWII. In which Amanda is a slut who bangs all her boarding school friends, is sexually assaulted with a fireplace poker by her boarding school friends. Goes to college and becomes a spy for the Allies... and is caught behind German lines, taken hostage and gang banged... uh... yeah... so... my early reading wasn't all sunshine and rainbows.

I read Valley of the Dolls, Peyton Place, and Myra Breckinridge before I was fifteen. Sex, drugs, incest, and transsexuality.

I don't know if I should be ashamed or not.

I read my first official romance when I was twenty-one. Or rather, the first adult romance that I bought and didn't hide. It was Johanna Lindsey's Gentle Rogue.

I proceeded to Kathleen Woodiwiss, who pretty much had the phrase 'bodice ripper' coined just for her books. And Virginia Henley for her sweeping British historical sex romps. And Bertrice Small... for her... well... uh, sex sex and more sex. Susan Johnson for her incredible American frontier sex books.

But before that, there was Anne Rice. Exit to Eden was my first actual penetrative gay sex scene. It was rape. Sure it was. But it was sex club dom/sub and expected... then her Beauty books. I was still in my teens then. I read the Story of O somewhere along to line.

Sex. Multiple partners. Gay. My early reading education was... messed up.

It's why I write what I write. I didn't like the sweet romances. I didn't like books that didn't explore human sexuality, I guess because I was already reading on a higher smut level at fourteen than most adults do in their forties.

I must admit that I've stopped reading smut. Mostly because most of it isn't well written.

There's an art to erotic literature. There's an art to pornographic literature. I've read both. I've read terrible pulp spank/cum fests that were horribly written and felt dirty afterward for even knowing it existed. I've read gorgeously written pulp spank/cum fests that I regret having lost.

But when it all came down to it, I gravitated to the books that the sexual relationship and the nonsexual relationship were given equal time. I didn't need a happy ever after. I just wanted the couples to come out of the story better than when they went in, even if they didn't stay together. Even if it was just a fling.

When I started writing, I thought I could write outside the romance genre. I tried. I can't. I was too young and didn't have enough life experience to write something like Fear of Flying. I'd never read young adult books that weren't sweet romances, so I didn't know that was even an option. I'm still not widely read in the YA genre unless you count Harry Potter. I went from middle school books to teen romance to adult erotic fiction to erotic romance.

My first few finished books were straight romances, with some sex. Not enough to fit into the erotic genre. Too much to be considered traditional romance. Sensual is now the preferred term for those books. Three sex scenes and a Happy Ever After.

They didn't sell. Or I couldn't get a publisher interested. Most publishers were chasing Ellora's Cave's skirts at that time. Erotica was in. Sweet was out. The dirtier the better.

So I wrote a dirty one night stand that I gave an HEA. It didn't sell either.


I wrote my first menage. And I peppered it with this illusion that there was some big secret between the two male protags. That I was too chicken shit to delve into. I published that book as an MFM or M/F/M. And regretted it for two years. I knew there was more to the story.

My next book was an M/F or F/M depending on where you look. It had some mild bondage and spanking. This was before that 50 Shades book. Or right about the same time. It sort of got swept along in that to a small degree. There was definitely more than three sexy time scenes going on in that book. And it sold very well... well by my standards at the time. Since I had no standards and my first three books hadn't sold enough combined to pay my phone bill for a month.

I gravitated to MM or M/M right after I wrote that book. I don't know why. Because of all of the books I'd loved in the past, the ones that stayed with me were the ones in which the men had more than friends relationships. I mean, Louis and Lestat weren't just splitting the rent if you know what I mean. The scene in which Lestat turns Louis is probably one of the most erotic scenes I've ever read and it doesn't involve a single penis.

Sex in MM was easier. I didn't have to stick to the 'rules' of conventional romance. I didn't have to have pure as the driven snow heroine and the alpha who saved her. I don't like those. I don't relate to those. I don't relate to the books in which the girl is only about clothes and fashion and makeup and saving her inheritance or getting a billionaire. I wanted books about women like me. With dark pasts and demons and hardscrabble existences that they pulled themselves through, finding the guy who'd come in and maybe lift some of the burdens off their shoulders but not save them. I wanted people who weren't perfect. I wanted people who were equal. And broken who needed someone to accept their brokenness.

That is not going to happen in MF romance. Like ever.

MM fills that need. But that's not the only reason I write MM.

I write what I call porn with plot. I write erotic romance with a plot. I write sex books with equal brain works.

When I say that most erotic romance is poorly written... well, it is. Erotic romance isn't about sticking it in and pulling it out and body fluids.
 

Erotic romance is about the brain. It's about two people connecting in more ways than just the slots and tabs being filled. It's about making a mental connection in bed and out of bed. Or it's just porn. Really bad porn.

Erotica, erotica isn't erotic romance. It's sex, smart sex, just for sex sake. There is no plot. There is no HEA. There is only sex between two or more consenting adults. Add toys to take it to the next level. Erotica is where everything with sex is now tossed. Erotic romance and erotica are not the same. In erotica, the partners can have a romantic relationship, or not. There is no expectation of a ring unless it's on a cock. There is no expectation of a day after or a second meeting. A married couple can bring in a third and it's fine. Or swap partners and it's fine. No hearts are broken. In the end, it was just about the sex.

Erotic romance has the same expectations of some kind of HEA for all parties involved.

Sensual romance is romance with three sexy time scenes, probably not fully articulated and double entendred to death.

Romance has sexy time but without the graphic words or descriptions. And is usually over quickly. Sex is not the focus of the story. The romance is the focus.

Sweet romance... no sex. None. They don't even think about it... there's no quivering anything.

Fiction with romantic elements is not the same as a sweet romance. It's fiction, with a plot that isn't about romance, but the two main characters have a romantic interest. Can have sex. It's not the point of the story.

In romance, you'll find letter combinations, especially if there is sex involved.

F= Female

M=Male

FM, F/M, MF, M/F= one male one female

MM, M/M= Two males

FF, F/F+ Two females

Now it gets a bit tricky when you throw in a third person. It's how the letters are placed that tells you what kind of sex you will be getting.

If it's two males and one female:

MFM, M/F/M= all three have sex at one time, the dudes do not have sex with each other or touch or mingle body fluids.

Or


MMF, M/M/F, FMM, F/M/M= They all have sex at one time and the dudes to touch and mingle body fluids and enter each other as well as the female.

The same if it's two females and one male just switch the letters to the appropriate opposite.

When you add a fourth person with different sexes... hell I don't even know. Three guys and one girl and not one dude touches the other dude is damned unrealistic or a gang bang.

More than that... I can't even. Just... assume the chick is tired all the time and there's a line.

But when you get to the ones where the pairings are separated like this:

MF. MM. MMF. FFM.= This means that there are multiple sexual encounters between different partners who most likely won't but could pair up with another couple in the story. I know I'm confused just writing that. So a guy and a girl have sex in the first scene, then two dudes, one might be the first dude with a boyfriend on the side or could be two completely different dudes altogether. Then a dude and a chick have sex with another dude. Or a dude and a chick have sex with another chick. Just realize there are multiple different scenes between different partners and watch the placement of the letters, two of the same beside each other means same-sex sex. Separated by the different letter means no same sex touchies.

After that, it's just an orgy.

If there are no letters... assume it's not a romance at all. Or at least that there's no sex.

So, if you were wondering and you're still here reading this... that's the official RWA take on this genre that has evolved over the past two decades. Doesn't mean the publisher knows how to categorize their books or how to code them in the blurb.
 

Clear as mud?
 

Clear as mud.
 

But you should be able to navigate the lingo now. Unless I don't know what I'm talking about... which is highly possible.


Anyway:


Peace,

Mercy

The Twincest Book! and where to find it

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I wrote this on a dare. It lasted four whole days on Amazon before it was removed and the file blocked. As shown below, as compared to a book I personally pulled from publication... screen capped today.



It's important to note that the book was in the number 1 spot on all gay romance charts and in the top 100 all books at the time it was removed. 

All Romance ebooks waited six months to block the book. They waited until it had stopped making money.

Barnes and Noble has not allowed the relisting of it recently. 

I have not tried to place it with any other sites because I'd like to keep my account with them.

So... if you find it anywhere it's a pirate copy. The only legitimate place to purchase this book is through payhip, which is to say payhip is the service I use to host my books and are not a publisher or a book selling site. I pay a fee to them and they route my books. Consider it my personal publisher site.

I offer mobi, epub and pdf formats. Please note that mobi does not always open immediately and will need to be emailed to your kindle device. I can not do that for you, the email must come from the email address attached to your Amazon account sent directly to your kindle's email address... yes your kindle has an email address, you can find it under manage my devices.

the payhip direct buy link is below: 


Buy Now

Cover Reveals and Coming Soons

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I shared a gorgeous new cover with you a little while back. It's pink and pretty and looks like an old surf shirt I had. It's for my next brand new book. 

Match Day

About a brand new doctor about to start his residency, hence the title, who is jilted at the altar. His best friend surprises him on his honeymoon cruise. Ten days trapped together in a room with one bed on a ship surrounded by ocean. Where they get to know one another way too well.

The last chapter of Match Day spawned a character I didn't know I'd love. He had a blink and you'll miss him role. But, he got his own book out of that audition. 



Long Way 

A May December story the begins with a funeral of sorts and takes us into the deep woods with blizzards and bears and feelings that should never happen but can't be denied. And that's all I'm
saying on that book right now. 

I finished Match Day and sent it to beta readers and had a brain storming session with Jambrea Jo Jones and Cam Kennedy and jumped right into Long Way and didn't stop. I will finish it in less than a month.

Jay Aheer took my little bit of details when I said make it look like the first cover but in the woods in the cold. And she did. And it's gorgeous.


















And then there's a third book. It's not finished. I've been sitting on the cover for nearly a year now. I shared it on Facebook today. It's not something I want to talk about. I would prefer that it not be shared on Goodreads until next year. But... well... here it is.

Release Dates:

Match Day
September 12, 2017

Long Way
October 10, 2017

and 

Blindsided
Fall of 2018

Talking about the Scrimmage Series today.

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I started writing Blindsided in Tampa two years ago this week. I know this because I got the memory thing from Facebook telling me I was at Rainbow Con two years ago this past week. I started Blindsided in the bar at Rainbow Con.

In two years time I haven't written much more than I did while I was in Tampa. I think I left it at around fifteen thousand words that weekend.

I hadn't planned to write Blindsided at all up to that point. Up to that point I was going to finish out the series in two more books. Sunday Schooled and Last Man Standing. I had covers made. I wrote half of Sunday Schooled before I realized that story was something else entirely. It wasn't going to finish the series. It was retelling the series from Bo and Dylan's POV. I stopped writing that story because I was wasting my time and needed to get the final story told. I left it at the point in Six Ways where Bo finds out Dylan is alive, but not before they are reunited.

I had planned to tell the final story through the eyes of a fourth couple. I linked that couple to the series in Offside Chance. Both of them. One had a name. The other was pure speculation.

I couldn't figure out how to go about introducing that character to the world AND take his story away from him to finish out what is Levi's story.

The whole series is Levi's story. All of it. Even Six Ways from Sunday is Levi's story even though he's not even in it.

If I had never written Sidelined there would be no further story to tell. If I had not linked Levi to Bo in Sidelined and not written this series at all... if I had not linked Levi to Bo, Levi would have no story at all. Just a quarterback without a team. He'd have no backstory. He'd just be there, get sexed up by the new coach of his old team. Figure out how to come out in post-football small town big hero way.

Sometimes I regret writing Sidelined.

I wouldn't be in this pickle if I hadn't written Sidelined. Six Ways from Sunday would be just a short story stand alone. I would never have written another football book.

Offside Chance came along and Jude with all of his resentment and baggage started screaming that everything was always all about Levi. Why can't he have something without his brother? He chose his brother's best friend to fall for. It was always about Levi. And how Levi links every damned one of them.

I wasn't going to write Last Man Standing. I was going to incorporate that one needed character into Blindsided and not deal with Angel. I didn't know Angel. Angel wasn't part of this story. Angel was just some kid who replaced Levi. He didn't matter. Sully mattered.

So I was writing Blindsided in Tampa, when I made the mistake of kidding that I killed Levi. I even said I was kidding. I got blasted. I got blasted in blistering fashion and not just by one or two people. By many, many people. So I set Blindsided aside because I was finished with that series. Offside Chance can sort of stand as the final book. There are threads dangling... but... that ending could actually stand as an ending.

It waited another six months to let the anger over that situation, my anger, die down. I don't like being told what I can and can't write. I mean, that's why Cold Shadow stayed in moth balls for five years. Because I was censured for even hinting at the possibility that I would do something so heinous as bring a third into their HEA when the Cold series isn't even a romance... I put it away and didn't take it out again because I didn't want to deal with the blowback of taking a story where I thought it needed to go. Cold was left as a HFN. It didn't need a second book. If I released the second book I'd have to finish the series and god knows y'all don't want to go down the rabbit hole that book will go down... but this is about the Scrimmage men and how I was going to finish this damned story off without pissing everyone off and still be true to the story that is unfolding throughout all of the stories. Levi's story.

How am I going to tell all of Levi's story in one damned book and pull this big huge rambling saga to a close without writing Gone with the Wind.... or worse, The Winds of War? What the hell is Levi's story anyway? I have all of these little pieces of him scattered throughout this series. I have this vision that his backstory is far more complicated than being transgendered and queer in a world where he can't be either. I have the seeds of abuse and neglect and crippling self doubt. I have... myself.

I started writing Blindsided two years ago this week and the first thing I did was kill Levi's mother. Until this point Samantha Brody was a mention or two. She was a ghost who may or may not be alive. She was nothing tangible at all to the story. Because she's my mother and I wasn't ready to purge my goddamned mother. So I killed this person in this story that I didn't know with the intention of using this death and Levi's surgery as the plot devise to push this story to an unnatural ending in which Levi has to confront his father... because that's all that was left to do in his story. Nothing else was tied together. The rape charge. Jude's resentment. Why they were pariahs in their own hometown even though they returned successful. Why... WHY!

I set Blindsided aside again to write a backstory for Levi. I never intended it to be anything but notes for me to flesh out this character so I could know him. Really know him.

What I got was a first person account of his life from the day he woke up to the harsh reality of his life, through the ending off Offside Chance. I wrote ninety thousand words of brutal backstory that included his high school lovers. The creation of the Liv persona. His drag queen mother to replace the real mother. His mother. The shadow of his father. The hints of abuse and neglect and how Levi coped with raising a brother who resented him... and Jude, through Levi's eyes, as the only person he truly loved.

When I was finished with Diva, I had no real intention of making the story public. I thought I could incorporate most of that into Blindsided and move on. I can't. It's ninety thousand words that need to be canon before Blindsided. Or Blindsided will be bogged down in more backstory than it needs to move forward.

After Diva I thought I could jump into Blindsided and pick up that final scene and go. I tied that final scene into the beginning of Blindsided. That final scene sets all of Blindsided.

I couldn't just jump in. I tried. I managed another five thousand words and knew I had to go back one more time and write Sully in. Sully couldn't just come sashaying in and say surprise. Sully had to have his own reason for being in Blindsided.

So I wrote Last Man Standing. I tied it in to that final scene in Diva, and everything in that book runs concurrent with the first twenty thousand words of Blindsided. Dylan, Tracy, Bo, Will, and Jude play small roles in that book, those same scenes where they are featured will lace throughout Blindsided until they collide.

Last Man Standing was released in August of last year. More than a year after Rainbow Con. I'd written two complete Scrimmage books in six months. In the year since those books were released they have yet to sell combined what Offside Chance sold in it's first month. I wrote two books in a popular series that were not accepted and ignored by 90% if the previous audience for this series.

I had told all of the backstory that I needed and was ready to finish Blindsided. I commissioned a beautiful cover, because I was twenty thousand words into this mess and I had the backstory told so I went ahead with the idea that I'd take a small break from the series and write something else then come back and finish it.

My mother died in October.

I stopped doing everything.

I came to a complete crashing halt.

If Levi's story is me fictionalizing my own story and dealing with my demons there was no goddamned way I was going to touch that story again. I'd killed his mother. The whole book is about Levi figuring out how to live now that he's lost everything that ever mattered to him and dealing with the demons that will never allow him to be happy until he purges them.

It's about throwing away happiness with both hands and finally hitting rock bottom.

When you're sitting there watching your own life spiral down that same rabbit hole and recognizing life imitating art and you're watching your career come to a screeching halt while your personal life becomes a living nightmare and you're grieving for something that never existed at all.

I've been there. In that rabbit hole for a very long time. Throwing away everything good with both hands and ignoring what I don't want to deal with and not coping.... at all.

I released the first half of Sunday Schooled as Any Given Sunday, I have no idea why. So that you understand the beginning, so that you'll understand the ending. To tie Bo into Levi's sordid crazy.

I released a book I swore I'd never release and I regret every second of that decision.

I have written two brand new books from scratch hoping for something light and fluffy.

I never want to write Blindsided. I know that now.

I don't want to cut open that part of me that is Levi and bleed his blood. I don't want to do it.

I will. I've made that promise.

I can't do it now. Not now. If I write Blindsided now I will never write another book again.

If I can salvage something of this mess that is my life and career, I'll have it next year sometime.

For now, I'm writing light and fluffy and playing it all by ear.

Thanks for listening,

Mercy

Working and Winding Down Summer

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I know it's August 5th. I do know this. I know also that there are nearly two months of calendar summer left. I live in the very deep south, it will still be hot for another three to four months before our summer is officially, officially over. Hurricane season ends on December 1, about then. I am not even kidding. It's rare that we get actual fall temps during the fall, anymore. If we do, it's fleeting. Cool one day, sweltering the next.

We keep our 'summer' clothes out year round down here. It's not uncommon to go to the store and see people wearing boots and jackets walking beside someone in shorts and flipflops. Of course, I have one daughter who wears boots year round.

But for this post, the winding down summer part means getting ready to send the youngest back to school. Tuesday, as a matter of fact. As in this coming Tuesday. I can officially say this is the earliest any of my kids have ever started school. It's too early. The past three or so years we started around the 10th or 11th. Not much later, just a few days, but still it's nearly a week of extra summer. The trade off I guess is that she gets several full week long breaks that the older kids never got. The whole week of Thanksgiving, Christmas is more than two weeks, not quite to three weeks, we get a full week for Mardi Gras in February or March (because we do Mardi Gras here, big time) and then Spring Break. I guess it's a decent trade off.

Anyway, what's up with me? Not much. Running people to doctor appointments. Running around looking for school uniforms. Paying bills and running from snakes. It storms nearly every day. But that's summer for ya. We haven't been to the pool to many times this year. We saw two movies, one if really want to be picky, we saw Guardians of the Galaxy a couple of days before school got out in May.

Nope, no vacation this year. Maybe the week of Thanksgiving. I want to go north to see not coastal things. The kids want to go to Disney again. We'll probably go to Disney again if I can swing the admissions.

Otherwise I've been working my tail off to get two books ready to publish. I wrote most of two books this summer. I say most of, I started Match Day last year in the spring and abandoned it about 15k words in because there were too many books like it on Amazon. I finished that one in early June and started it's sequel immediately. I finished Long Way in mid-July. Took me 33 days I think. It's a bit longer than the first book. Not much, just a little. I might write a third book in that series. I'm thinking about one involving a couple of guys from MD. I might go to something completely different when I start back on new words.

Right now I'm in the middle of revising Match Day. I'm about to wrap up my final rewrite and send it to be edited. I can't set a date yet. I'm hoping to have it out by mid-August. I know I said I wouldn't have it ready until September at the earliest... yeah, about that... I kinda want to move on to new words.

I'll probably just fling this one out and then get started on the first read through of Long Way right after.  I'll most likely have that one ready by mid-September. I'll wait until then to decide if there will be a third book. Both books are HEAs with hard endings.

I'm calling the series, Adventure INK.

I still have no blurb. I'll set up the MD and LD official pages soon.

As soon as I get the kid back to school. We're moving up to middle school this year. Oh yay! sighs. Going into band, staying in baton, riding the bus with high schoolers.... JOY! BIG SIGHS! help me


So that's my summer so far. Hope yours has been the stuff of legend.

Mercy






Covers by the incredibly talented Jay Aheer.

Match Day release date

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Probably going to publish Match Day in the next week or so. Almost done with it.

Stay tuned.


Match Day is live

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If you've been waiting for news, Match Day is now free and loose in the world. The sequel Long Way will follow on September 12th. I will have the print version available soon.




MJCpress is directly from me through payhip, I offer a choice of mobi(kindle) and epub9everything else) 

Match Day blurb

Jilted at the altar!

Doctor Zack Sorensen planned to spend the entire ten-day luxury honeymoon cruise drunk off his ass. Why not? He paid a fortune for the tickets. Non-refundable tickets. If anyone deserved to be drunk for ten days solid it was Zack. 

Brian O’Daly - brother of the runaway bride and best man - had no intention of letting his best friend spend the next ten days alone, and most likely drunk, on a ship, with no one to keep him from falling overboard.

But what exactly did one do on an accidental honeymoon? For ten days. To romantic destinations. In one bed… when one is secretly in love with one’s best friend.

Brian and Zack are about to find out.

About MJCPress

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I have chosen to self-host ebooks through Payhip: a division of PayPal. I offer two formats: Mobi for kindle devices and epub for all other devices. I have discounted the price because I receive all royalties from this site, minus the small fees the service charges. If you do not have a PayPal account you should be able to pay with a credit card, I am not sure on this matter, but I can sell print books with the credit card option.

All books currently available will have an MJCPress buy link or you can check the MJCPress link below for all books.

Long Way Sneak Peek

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Even though I decided to delay the release date for the second book in the Adventures, INK series Long Way until November I made a promise to reveal who the book is about on September first.... Anyone object to a day early?

The first draft of Long Way is finished, it's currently about ten thousand words longer than Match Day.... and if you haven't read Match Day, this might be a bit of a spoiler.

I plan to spend September watching football and writing something new. Not football related. I'll rewrite and edit Long Way in October as soon as I have something new finished (hopefully). 

So, anyway, without further delay....




LONG WAY
Skip’s Story
Mercy Celeste

Chapter One
“Take the Long Way Home,” Supertramp crooned out of the jukebox. Skip leaned back in his chair and watched as Rosie and Lucinda two-stepped their way around the little area in front of the bar. No one gave a shit that two middle-aged biker chicks were dancing. Least of all their husbands. Catcalls came from other patrons at the tavern. They’d seen it before. Yearly. For nearly thirty years now.
The same songs played on the same jukebox while they drank the same beer and told the same stories they’d told the first time they did this. Thirty years ago, he’d been fresh faced and green as hell when he’d stumbled into this bar. He wasn’t old enough to drink. He was free and on his own with an overpowering need to set the world on fire.
He’d dropped out of school his senior year when his folks had died. He left the compound not long after that. It was his. He could have kicked all those damned hippies out but he didn’t. They’d been family at one time. Right up until his mom got sick and his dad couldn’t go on without her.
He packed everything he owned and threw it in the beat up old Bug and drove as far as he could. He broke down in front of this dive.
And fell in with this bunch as if he’d been sent here.
Rosie and Lucinda were on spring break from Berkley. Sam and Colten were like him, just out of school with no plans for the future. Blake and Darren were up from Texas scouting colleges. And Jimmy and Norah were newlyweds on their honeymoon. They’d met as strangers that year back in ’87. All a bunch of hippies with nothing to protest. Except Skip, he’d done that his whole life. He just wanted to see what normal people did.
Over the years they added new people to their group, through marriage or just like-minded people with nothing better to do than tag along through the woods with a bunch of drunk kids wanting to set the world on fire.
They’d lost people, divorce and death were always part of life. Some just stopped coming, like Jimmy and Norah.
Skip hadn’t made it every year. He’d missed a few along the way but he kept in touch. The years when he couldn’t make it he’d host a get together down at the beach house. After his folks had passed the commune fell apart, and he’d been left there alone with a bunch of ghosts. Why the hell not. There were enough rooms in the place for everyone to have their own retreat.
The song ended and Seven Bridges Road came up next. Skip could count on that much. The songs never changed, on the juke, or with this crowd. Classic rock, all the way. There wouldn’t be a single Duran Duran song on there. Or Adam Ant or Boy George. He’d kill for some George Michael.
They’d lost George this past Christmas. The death had hit him hard. Harder than Bowie or Prince. Harder than any of the other losses of the past year. For reasons he couldn’t ever tell this crowd. Rosie and Lucinda danced as a joke. They never hooked up to Skip’s knowledge. None of the guys ever gave him reason to believe there was anything here but a yearly habit.
“Who are we missing?” Blake thumped a tub of beers down on the table and looked around the bar. His black hair had gone completely silver in the last year. He looked good, even if he was pushing fifty.
“Just Colten.” Lucinda swept a bottle from the tub and collapsed into her husband’s lap. “This was his party and he’s the one who can’t be assed to show up.”
They usually met up later in the spring. March was always too wet for hiking, and too cold. Back in the day it had always been March. Mostly because of college breaks. After they all grew up and got jobs and had kids they’d played with the schedule. Keeping up with each other as technology changed. They had their own Facebook group now. And Colten had written a few days back asking if they could meet up early this year. Skip had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach when he read the message. Something about it just seemed… like bad news.
“You’d think he would have said more about dragging us all up here on such short notice if he’d changed his mind.” Rose grabbed a beer, she didn’t sit in her husband’s lap. She sat across from him and didn’t meet his gaze. Another ending right there, Skip would be willing to lay money on it.
“He’ll be along. He’s always late. He has to come from Virginia now. That’s a long way.” Blake drained a beer and slammed the bottle down on the table. He kept looking at the door where Sam and Darren had disappeared. That seemed to be the beginning of something.
Sam had lost her husband a couple years back, and Darren… well, maybe the divorce would finally go through now that the kids were grown. Skip was sure they’d always been sneaking around. He just hadn’t cared until a few years ago. He hadn’t cared about a lot of things until Brian came into his life. One day he’d tell them about Brian.
Not this year. He checked his phone for messages. They’d be heading out in the morning and phone service was spotty on the trail. Brian hadn’t returned his messages today. Probably too busy sexing that hunk of a man he’d been mooning over for as long as Skip had known him.
He’d left two days sooner than he’d planned when Doc had shown up on his doorstep looking like a lost puppy. The love in his eyes when Brian had shown up damn near floored Skip. He’d never had anyone look at him like that. Male or female. Not from lack of trying. That boy had his heart in his eyes for his boy. And Skip had grabbed his gear and gone instead of standing around making it all awkward. Now he wondered if he shouldn’t have stayed. Maybe played daddy for the first time in his life. Maybe asked Zack what his intentions were. See if he was after Brian’s money. Or the land. Money Brian had no idea existed, or that he was going to inherit everything Skip’s mother and grandparents had passed down to him. Neither of them knew there was anything to gain. And he was keeping it that way for the time being.
One day he’d tell the boys he was rolling in it. One day he’d tell his closest friends that he had a son. Norah’s son.
Not this day.
He’d play the good natured loner and watch his friends make fools of themselves and when they were on the other end of the trail he’d head up to his cabin and write another book.
His phone buzzed. Brian sent him a double thumbs up. Skip had forgotten what he’d asked… probably something like was the house still standing? Something stupid to go with the stupid comment he’d left them with. Just don’t burn down the house. Jeez, he was an idiot.
The kid had looked at him like he was trespassing on his territory. He’d jump to a conclusion that pissed Skip off. The same conclusion another man had once come to. It had ended their friendship. Well, there was the fact that he had no idea Brian was his until the boy was sixteen and Skip had stopped in to visit his old friends without letting them know he was coming. For three years they pretended he didn’t know. For three years he’d tried to see the boy. After Brian had found him down in San Diego and gone home, Jimmy had flown out and accused him of the unthinkable. Skip had decked him. If anyone could be accused of that it sure as hell wasn’t Skip.
Brian had come home from his sister’s botched wedding with a wedding ring and a broken heart. Because of Jimmy.
No one mentioned Jimmy and Norah anymore. Or invited them. Skip looked around at the people gathered at the table, the same feeling of dread clutching at his gut. Only the faces from the original group were there. Minus Jimmy, Norah, and Colten. Next year they would be short one more spouse. The year after that might not ever happen. But he thought that every year. This year though, felt like an ending. Not just the end of a chapter.
Like they were putting a period on an era.
The door opened and everyone at the table strained their necks hoping to welcome their missing friend. A tall, broad shouldered, Jarhead wearing fatigues and a scowl filled the doorway. He was far too young to be Colten. And far too hot.
Colten Mayes had been a short earth shoe wearing computer programmer from southern California. He’d gone on to make a fortune in Silicon Valley before moving to the east coast about ten years back.
The men turned back to their beers, the women leered at the young man. So did Skip. He tried not to be obvious about it. But damn. He bet he could bounce a quarter off that guy’s belly. If he were ten years younger he’d give it a try. He caught the guy’s eye, the stare was hard and unwelcoming. Make it twenty years younger.
The guy tipped his head in a curt military style nod and started for their corner of the bar. Skip’s heart skipped a couple of beats as the ice blue gaze met his. He seriously wondered if he was reacting to a hot ass Marine or if the hot ass Marine had taken his interest the wrong way.
Fear? It had been a long time since he felt anything resembling fear. A little more than ten years when he’d stared into a pair of clear green eyes and recognized his mortality.
The Marine carried a bag over his shoulder. He seemed to have purpose as he moved through the tables. Skip wasn’t the only one to notice they had attracted the attention of a stranger. Blake was on his feet acting as their defacto leader with his pasted on politian’s smile and an outstretched hand.
Skip was willing to bet the whole hundred acres up in Oregon that the first words out of Blake’s mouth would be “thank you for your service, Marine, welcome home.”
Yep, nailed it.
Skip didn’t stand with all the others. He nodded to the boy, because damn, he wasn’t too long out of diapers by the looks of him. Certainly not old enough to have served in the military. But that’s because Skip was feeling his age. And that boy was way too young for what his dick was thinking.
 “Thank you, Mister Hamilton, sir.” The Marine grasped Blake’s hand and shook it. He looked at each of the people at the table and greeted them by name. Skip wasn’t the only one wondering why this kid knew their names. “Skip,” he said, leaving off the mister part as he met Skip’s gaze one more time. He nodded again and set the bag down on the table.
“Chad Mayes,” Skip said recognizing the boy in the man and the man in the son. The feeling of dread in his gut turned rock hard.
“Yes, sir.” He didn’t smile. There was sorrow in his eyes. “Dad asked me to give you this.” He pulled a package out of his bag and handed it to Blake with no explanation. Skip didn’t need one. He knew. “He wanted his closest friends to lay him to rest.”



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